How to Bring Up Tough Topics Around the Holidays

The holidays bring a lot of fun-filled family time. In addition to gifts, good food, and traditions, a lot of families also use this time to travel and visit loved ones they haven’t seen in a while.

One thing to think about as you’re visiting family, especially elderly relatives, is to consider discussing their long-term care and estate plans.

Let’s just get this out of the way…

No one wants to bring up tough topics, especially during the holidays. However, because this time of the year presents more opportunities to spend time together, it’s often an ideal time to bring up tricky conversations.

Medical emergencies can happen quickly - especially with older individuals. If something were to happen, do you know how your loved one would want their care and estate handled? Having a legal estate plan would take some of the stress out of those hard decisions.

Let’s discuss a few ways you can bring up these conversations with grace and tact.

Tip 1: Use a Story to Segue the Conversation

Don’t want to approach this topic directly? You don’t have to! You can start the conversation by mentioning an article you’ve read recently or a conversation you recently had with a friend.

Here are some situations we’ve seen, recently, that you could use as your “story segue”: 

An older man passed away with an out-of-date will. This man had been divorced and remarried for years, but kept putting off changing his estate plan. Since he passed before he updated this plan, he left his second wife to deal with an unnecessary mess, basically putting her at the mercy of his adult children and their decisions about his estate. 

In another case, a middle-aged person passed away very suddenly without a will in place. The family didn’t know of the intentions for the assets, and so were left with a probate mess. 

Fidelity also offers some great reasons for having an estate plan, if you’d prefer to share an article. 

Tip 2: Share Your Personal Stakes - and Plans

Many adults don’t have any sort of estate plan finalized. When they pass, it’s much harder for their family to settle the estate and start the process of healing and moving on. Even a simple estate plan protects a family from unnecessary heartache and the hassle of dealing with the probate court.

Let your loved ones know that one of the most loving things they can do for their family is to make sure that the estate is in order in case something should happen. It also keeps them protected from unnecessary stress and tense situations.

If it helps, talk about what YOU have done to get your plans in order! Estate planning is something so necessary that is often overlooked as we run through our everyday lives. One way that we can make this topic less taboo is to have more open and honest conversations about our final wishes. So tell your family members about what you plan to do, to make the conversation less awkward when it comes to their own plans. 

Tip 3: Offer an Estate Plan as a Gift

If you know a close family member who needs to set up an estate plan, or refresh an old plan, but also know that they would never make time in their schedule to do it themselves, you can give them the gift of an appointment with an estate planning attorney. If the appointment is right in front of them, it makes it hard for them to ignore it! 

Estate planning isn’t just for the elderly, either. Do your college-aged kids have their POA’s set up? 

Emergencies and accidents can happen at any time to anyone. Having an estate plan helps to take the stress of decision-making off of loved ones in times of stress and heartache. Anyone over the age of 18 should have - at the very least - their Healthcare Power of Attorney and Financial Power of Attorney in place.

These documents are important for every adult because you never know where life could lead you or when an accident could happen. With these documents in place, a loved one will be able to easily access the care plans and accounts you need while you are incapacitated.

Without these documents in place, it opens up a whole new can of worms to deal with while also dealing with the pain and trauma of an injured or sick loved one.

If you are in the position to start discussing your estate plan to make sure that your final wishes are respected and your family is protected, give us a call today to schedule your free consultation!

And, as you’re having these tough conversations over this holiday season, feel free to refer us to your friends and family for free consultations, as well. We are here to help.